The last time I wrote on here I was only 20 years old well we both were and now it's 2016 and we're both 21. It's weird being 21 since I never thought about what 21 year old me would be like. I Remember talking to you about my paper that I had for my theology class on snapchat and how it was an obituary for myself and how i wrote that it was my birthday when I died. Remember you telling me not to die on my birthday and to be honest when I said that I promised I wouldn't the thought did cross my mind. Don't worry I haven't thought about it since then. I don't know if you'll ever read this since I'm the only one who's posted since the last time you did but I find it nice post here sometimes especially when I'm not at my best. I don't exactly know where this post is going but a part of me just wanted to write here today. Maybe is causes the second semester of college is starting of my junior year I'm scared because technically I'm supposed to be graduating next year and I am afraid it's not going to happen. I'm scared and I wish I could take back everything and I could go back in time when I was a freshman again and make the right choices and speak out because then maybe I wouldn't be here trying hard to be someone for my parents and my siblings because they need me to be someone. If only I'd made the right choices and spoken at the right time maybe I would be a little happier. Its funny how I can write about all this but to be honest I don't know where my future is going, I don't know if I honestly love the career that I've chosen but I have to right? I guess I should cut it short and post again another day and maybe then I have my thoughts together but till then I don't know.